Because You S.A.i.S.O
With a Dual Local and Cloud-based AI system that's always evolving, S.A.i.S.O knows and remembers faces and that one time Joey stole your 1st Edition Charizard, even though he said he totally didn’t take it, but Steve for sure saw him sell it at Putt N Play Pizza & Batting Cages. Screw you Joey, I know you’re reading this.
Through advanced facial and body scanning, he’s able to read your emotions, mental and physical health status. When you come home tired as hell, but you still have an essay due at midnight online, S.A.i.S.O will analyze the situation, dims the lights (through Advanced Chroma Integration), put on some hood s#it, and make sure nobody bugs you while you crank out that 1,000-word essay on ‘A Post-Modern Deconstruction of Dank Memes and Folklore in Contemporary America.’